The Truest Tale Ever Told

[McLaughlin86]

I looked down at my watch, feeling anxious. 7:12 pm was the time. I had just arrived at The Salty Bastard, a bar where all the rejects would go to drown their sorrows. While this place may seem fitting for an idiot like me to go to, I wasn't heading there for the reason you'd think. I entered through the back door which was located in a run down alley with what appeared to be some junkies. They were all huddled around each other looking rather suspicious. I'm sure they were just doing some shady deal. As I entered the bar, I received nothing but disgusted looks by the ugly crowd. It seemed fitting for that place. There were holes in the walls and the hardwood floor. Half of the bar stools looked broken and most of the people just chose to stand because it was too crowded to even sit. This place was hardly any larger than those cramped interrogation rooms you see in the movies. "State your business" said some young drunken punk. They couldn't have even been past their teen years by the looks of it. They were dressed in wannabe skater clothes and by the looks of it had more time dedicated to getting piercings and tattoos than thinking. Ears, nose, lips, cheeks, arms and all were covered. I brushed up against them as I walked past them and moved on. At least, that's what I tried to do. The second my back was facing theirs, they turned around and put a .22 ruger to the back of my skull. "We know why you're here and we have some bad news for you. It's ours, not yours." Said the punk. Continuing my absence of dialogue, I reacted physically. I pulled a complete 180, snatched the gun from the kids hand and threw it to the side. I pulled the spas 12 off of my back and began blowing skulls open at the speed of light. The gnarliest sounds of bones cracking and organs exploding graced my ears. It rained blood. Several drunken rejects still remained in this awful place and they had their guns drawn towards me. I jumped behind the bar well for cover. It was my best option, as it took up nearly half of the bars room in the first place. The bartender must have been long gone, because I didn't see them anywhere. While being rained on by bullets, I came up with a plan. I snatched a bottle of everclear that was next to me and the various other bottles of alcohol. I twisted off the cap, took a swig, proceeded to stuff the bottle with paper that laid behind the bar. I ignited the paper and chucked that abomination across the bar like a Molotov cocktail. An uproar of fire caused the remaining idiots in the bar to flee the scene. Finally alone, I pulled out my phone and launched Pokemon Go. I caught the Dragonite that was in this bar and went on my way. I will be the very best, like no one ever was.

[HHawk4]

Is it your real test? (^:

[Misombre]

Seems legit. At least you didn't do all this stuff for a ratata.

[Cyane]

how high were you when you caught that dragonite, i need to be that high to get it?