The Origins of Mr. McLaughlin

[McLaughlin86]

I was born in the middle of the woods in Washington about 1 mile from the border of Canada (I still to this day don't know how I didn't die from the 2nd ice age, since all it does is snow in Canada at sub zero temperatures; My house was practically an Igloo for fucks sake). The first few years of my life were unimportant. All you must know from them is that I was born into an incredibly sexy body and a house full of meth-heads.

Fast forward to me being about 10 years old. My parents were basically non-existent at this time and would only show up to tell me to cook more meth. My life at that point was basically Breaking Bad times 1 trillion. Torn apart emotionally by this situation, I had to find a way to accumulate money instead of making all of it for my parents to take. I quickly hatched a plan to sell meth to my fellow elementary schools students as well as raid my parents stash of cash.

It was a dirty scheme that I'm still ashamed of to this day, but I was left with no choice. When most people think of addictions that kids had back in the early 2000's, they think of Pokemon cards and video games. This was not the case for my school, however. Local news reports flooded with the same headline "Meth Epidemic Destroys School Districts Reputation." The hallways of my once flawless school were littered with kids crawling to class with a lack of motivation due to destroyed dopamine receptors from too much meth. The police department deemed it wise at this point to put the kids out of their misery.

By this point I was long gone. I stole my parents van, left with $200,000 and headed to Chicago. From the ages of 10-18 I attended school in the quietest suburbs of the city while living with my Mexican family that immigrated to Chicago from Mexico City. I helped them run their restaurant known as El Famous Burrito (eat there) and abandoned them after my graduation in High School.

These days I spend my time making money with legitimate jobs and sleeping. Most people become hardened criminals in their 20's, but I was way ahead of them all. I've already retired from crime and will remain the most infamous drug dealer of my time. Also, I exchange meth for items on this server, not DTS.

Edited December 7, 2015 by McLaughlin86

[foiexx]

[radezz]

nice to meet you.

[ultrajerky]

i was one of those kids you sold meth to. but instead of destroying my dopamine receptors it turned me into a super genius with a big package. A big packaged genius who invented a time machine to travel 65 million years back into the past to infuse my dna with an SSJ3 cyborg raptor. now i have returned to this age to study law, so i can become the most powerful, half man, half dinosaur, cyborg, super saiyan judge in the universe!

Edited December 8, 2015 by ultrajerky

[radezz]

They are extinct. Sayans are extinct bruh.