Spi: How he changed my life forever

[Varista]

If you've been to any of my rooms on Ultima, you'll see that I almost always named them "Spi"

The reason that is, is because my best friend on PSOBB that I met way back is called Spi. He was a role model for me to playing PSOBB. He was everything that I wanted to be. In my English semester in GRCC a year ago, I was to write an essay paper about a good real life friend I knew. I chose to write about Spi given our friendship was so long. This is that story. Please enjoy.

 

Spoiler

EN 101

Mr. Walters

Wyatt Fox Ridgway

10/15/15

 

Spi

 

I don't actually know Spi in person... which is why it's so strange to talk about him like I know what he looks like or who he is. Our only real form of communication was over an online game and, eventually, Skype. To me, and everybody else that played the game, Spi was a short, spiky haired girl. Dark blue hair and jumpsuit with a clean gold zigzag down the middle of the suit with Spi's in game ID just above her breast. You couldn't see her eyes though, he kept that a secret from everybody. Instead, you could only see this silver visor covering her eyes with a nice sleek blue line cutting through the center, almost giving her a robotic style of look. It was vividly clear to me back when I first started playing the game that Spi was different.

When I started playing that online game Spi had originally told me he was a girl. I'm not sure why he chose to do this but I imagine it was a younger kid thing. Perhaps he didn't trust me enough to tell me his actual gender? At that time I probably wouldn't have trusted me either. The game was all about hunting and trading; to which Spi and I grew very adept at doing. Hunting and trading, especially trading, were Spi and I's favorite things to do. We'd grind weapons by ourselves from the random number generator (often referred to as RNG) and sell them to other players for high prices. The real biggest differences between him and I was that he was good at it and I wasn't. He was rich and I wasn't.

Which thinking back is a defining characteristic of Spi. He was rich; to me, I really got jealous of that. He always had the weapons I had always dreamed of obtaining and owning in great abundance. He was sweet and giving, always letting his closest friends borrow his account or letting his friends take weapons from his account. I was not one of these people. What I didn't understand was that through that giving exterior lied a debt to be paid; the ultimate debt that he owed to every single soul that ever donated to him. See, his riches were mostly because his friends gave him the weapons that I thought he hunted for and obtained himself as gifts and donations. He made friends with rich people that gave him the power he needed to become rich himself... so the he was always in debt to them. At this point in my life, I always thought of Spi being the superior player to me and just being a goddess at the game. It wasn't until 2011 did that entire opinion of him change for some reason.

In 2011 I was on the verge of being permanently banned from the server for reasons I wont get into and Spi was even richer than before. One day, in mid October, he opened his shop up on the game and placed a “Free rares to all” sign on his shop. He was opening his account up and giving away all of his hard earned weapons, armors, units, and even mags to anybody that walked in and asked for them. He put up a list on the forums for the gaming server and listed all that he was giving away. Hell, even I partook in his kind sharing even while in the position I was in. It was at that moment when Spi started to open up to me. Intrigued with my situation and my lack of investment and riches over the years of playing the game around him he started to ask really painful questions. Like why I wasn't rich yet? Why wasn't I investing my rares into the server to make others happier? To me, these were both painfully easy questions to answer but thinking back I believe he was testing me. I always answered him with the child's response every time. I wasn't an adult or a giver... I was a taker. I always told him that I'd rather get banned and lose everything than give it all away to people I didn't know. I think that's when he knew that he and I would be friends for a long time. We were already friends for a while before this moment but I think he ultimately knew that he and I were two sides of a coin. He was the giving, caring, compassionate side and I was the selfish, greedy, and jealous side of the coin. He and I were intertwined to be opposites but also the same.

On that very same day Spi had told me that he was a guy in reality and I was in outrage. He lied to me!?!? Why would he do that!?!? “He's the absolute worst!” I would scream out loud to myself, “He's selfish and greedy, all the rares he has he's hording for himself!” I kept screaming in outrage like a child having a tantrum. I was having a tantrum, it was painfully obvious that I was confused and not ready to understand who Spi really was. It was at that time when he explained to me that he had gained his initial riches through his friend's kindness and giving. It sounded crazy to me.. giving your friend your hard earned riches so they can get rich themselves and give back? I think the reason this sounded so strange and impossible to me was because, unlike him, I didn't have friends like he did that did that for me. I didn't have people... friends... which is another glaring difference. Spi's entire attitude towards people and life was set in motion because he had a faithful group of people that he hung out with and interacted with. He believed that through the kindness of giving him things to make himself rich, that he should give back. That the only way of making the server we played on so much and loved so much a better place is to give back. I didn't have those values to measure myself by. I just had my greed. The views he obtained in the game transferred over to real life. He gave back to the people that gave to him. Helping his friends whenever he had the opportunity. In Christmas of 2012 I learned that he thought of me as one of his friends in his circle when he gave me his only copy of an item I had been hunting but never found during the Christmas event. Him giving me that item made me understand these values... the value is a true friend and giving to those that need it, rather than keeping everything to yourself. I kept that item to the very end of that account up until it was permanently banned and I had to start over. It's still like that to this very day.

And only months later when he opened up his own server after leaving the original we stayed at did he start to really show his values of kindness and giving. He let everybody make an account on his server for free and made everybody a moderator, gave everybody item makers and let everybody create a sandbox out of his hard work. It was quite a marvel to see his hard work and care once again going to the public. I believe that my initial belief of Spi being selfish and greedy when I found out he was a guy was simply because I looked up to him in a certain way and that way was crushed. Blinded by my hatred and jealousy I lashed out at him and it was wrong. But he always forgave me, he understood I was just a kid and let it be. He was a very understanding person in game back then and still is now in real life and in the game even still years later. He's very understanding of people's situations and opinions; very accepting of difference and change.

I don't know anything of his hair color, his political views or what his favorite food is. Where he lives, why he prefers a certain color over another or any of that nonsense. I don't think it's important. Spi and I share a friendship bond that has lasted the test of time. Even after the server has been brought down for the count a whopping 7 years after it's release we're still friends. He loves to do code and make his own websites; he has multiple ones he fashions to his liking and has created many platforming and top-down first person shooter games from scratch through his will of wanting to create things he enjoys. He's a very compassionate person and a loving friend. I don't think I could have ever asked for some one better to lead the charge of the server's innately corrupt history back into the light where it belongs. He's the main reason I stuck around. He's the real reason why I think the server thrived as much as it did when it was young. Spi taught people how to be compassionate and giving; he crafted an entire community out of the hard stone that was the greed and selfishness of the server of old. I don't know what your last name is or what your middle name is or what you look like but none of that matters to me or anybbody else that knows you like we do. All that matters to us is that you're here and you always will be here with us, friends, forever more. This one's to you Spi, the singular essence of a generation long past, the reason why a lot of us are who we are today. If I had one request, one final thing to I would say about you?

 

If I had the chance, I would've changed the name to Spi Serv in honor of your bottomless compassion.