McLaughlin86
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Status Updates posted by McLaughlin86
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"I sit in front of my computer all day and comment on everything. I'm an expert on everything. Everything sucks, play the next song."
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It started several decades ago in Vietnam. I was the last man standing in my squad and was abandoned by the whole U.S. military for conspiring to work with the communist scum who felt like my true brothers. Though I was abandoned by one family, my family of Vietnamese children took me in. Using the primitive technology of the 60s/70s, which were basically fucking dirt, sticks and rocks they built me a computer. Astounded by this work, I realized I had to install phantasy star online for it even though it wasn't invented yet. Through some blur of alcoholism and abusing my Vietnamese children I was able to accomplish this task. After years of playing this game, I rage quit and slingshotted one of my small kids to the sun like the worthless thing he was. Many years passed as I dared to never play again. However, upon my return to america via airdrop with the intensity of an atomic bomb, I instantly know what I had to do. I brought the primitive computer from Vietnam back home and played PSO once more. On that day a met a child who reminded me of those Vietnamese children who took me in.
Selah,
You're a shit with an attitude and a bad memer. How you've made it to 12 years old is beyond me, but congratulations. I encourage you to seek malort from your friends and consume it in high volumes until you've reached borderline alcohol poisoning and then drink more. PLease make the worst decisions of your life.
There are no plot holes or inconsistencies in this story. Don't look for them.
Happy birthday.
