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Does anyone remember their first time eating a granola bar? That unmatched and unparalleled experience; the grains, the oats, the sheer velocity in which you peel off the outer wrapper. I know I do, and you should too. But sadly people have forgotten the days of the granola bar, and we're left with kale and other bizarre healthy natural options -- a world which I do not wish to be part of. As someone who has donated an insanely large amount of money to this server, a whopping $5, all I wish to receive in return is a little bit of respect, is that too much to ask in this day and age? Despicable. We need to take a stand and bring back the glory days.

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