TheJoker25

It's a beautiful day outside. Time to go play:

Dear BBC, Please bring back NMTB & Frankie Boyle.

#@%$ me sideways! Condit lost...I owe someone 5 pds. #fml

Oh man....the dvd extras to 'Charlie, the Lonesome Cougar' was way more bloody and graphic than I thought it'd be for a Disney movie.

My inexplicable new time lord powers might accidentally rip a hole in the fabric of our reality, and cause us all to be ded'd or ING'd.

I have a hot dog eating stomach....for beer.

I get hot snakes and bubble gut after I eat spicy food and drink.

Pornhub: Adult Film Website Releases Map of Most-Searched Terms by State: http://www.vocativ.com/news/288702/dark-net-united-states-porn/

I used to be a dog, but I got better. Not a better dog mind you. I just got better.

If Carol tells you to look at the flowers....don't do it!

Smile because you're on camera: https://gaming.youtube.com/watch?v=HWGke575gbM

Did ING freeze to ded in the -3 weather yet?

You can't spoon with a shovel.

iPhone 6 'Live Photos' are just really really really short videos...how stupid does a person have to be to fall for that gimmick?

Softly, Softly, Catchee Monkey

Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes!

Ask a one legged man to put his best foot forward.

Going down the steps on a white line straight to nowhere.

R4 is just the red R2-D2.

A wise man once said: "Admin, you're my hero...heroine. Whatever, you rock!"

Lets be real. The "birth" of Boba Fett would have been cool if that asshole didn't get casually tossed in a sarlaac.

Ingle Bells

I remember every hot summer morning. Dad driving us all over to Rocky Glenn's swimming hole near Factoryville. We would splash away until 10 AM then work the beet fields till well after midnight.

I done told you jackass. Go on and hee-haw some place else now, ya hear?

Dear Chief Replacement, I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you are curious about the frequency of which I've sent these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey. Which I will then proceed to have sex with. That's right. I'm going to FUCK the fear turkey.